NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND

 I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud These are  REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district. (Spellings  have been left intact.)

 1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY.  PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

 2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER  SHOT

 3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN 28, 29, 30,  31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

 4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

 5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL  OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.

 6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS  FACE.

 7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE  WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

 8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN  BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

 9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.

 10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.

 11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE  CROSSED OUT.

 12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.

 13-- IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.

 14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.

 15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING  BECAUSE DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.

 16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY WE FORGOT  TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE  THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

 17-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE  SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.

 18-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD  AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.

 19-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED  WITH GRAMPS.

 20-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.

 21-- PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.

 22-- MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER,  SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO
SICK,
 FEVER AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED  ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE  MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

 NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR  KIDS.